Posts Tagged ‘Humor’
Thursday, August 21st, 2008
A recent article in Game Developer magazine (August 2008 edition, page 34) had us saying, “Yes! Tell it like it is!”. Actually, the article was a standard “What went right and what went wrong” article about developing an adventure game. It was the sidebar by Penny Arcade co-creator Jerry “Tycho” Holkins that really caught our attention:

“If we had known what we were getting into, we would never have done it. Game development is an endless Sisyphean nightmare warren of terrible nightmares. We wish we could go back in time, to our first meeting with Hothead, and shake our past selves, crying out: “Run, fools! Run for your very lives! Game development is a nightmare warren,” et cetera. We would spend a lot of time driving home this nightmare warren concept.” – Tycho
[Incidentally, we view Penny Arcade almost every day. Check out their unique blend of sardonic humor as they discuss the ins and outs of Games and the Game Industry.]
We often have starry-eyed young game players come up to us and ask, “What does it take to become a Game Designer, O Great Ones?” (although they usually don’t phrase it quite that way). This is much like a son, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, asking, “What did you do in the Clone Wars, Daddy?” We put our arm on their shoulders (ok, Corey does that… Lori’s too short), smile condescendingly, and say, “Son, it takes Moxie. Moxie, hard work, and luck.” Then we pat them on the back and send them on their way with such sage advice as “Study Hard”, “Get Good Grades”, and “May the Force Be with You”.

What we don’t say to those innocent dreamers is that game development takes all the sweat from more work than you ever thought you were capable of doing. It takes the blood from opening up your creative heart and watching it all spill out upon the cutting room floor. It takes the tears of frustration and agony as you try to deal with impossible people doing impossible tasks under impossible deadlines. It also takes selling your soul to the Devil.
We don’t say it because:
- A. We don’t like scaring people
- B. We’d like to play their games someday
- C. We get a kickback from the Devil for every soul we get to sign on the dotted line
“There are a few things we wish we had known beforehand. First, not to make video games – but we covered that…” – Tycho
Why is game development so hard? We start out with a set of vague concepts about the game style and features, then spend months or years creating art and music, prototyping then refining the code, and gradually putting it all together. I can tell you that we were in total despair over a few of our games just three months before shipment because they felt bland and lifeless. Then the music and sound effects were added, and suddenly the games took on life. Still, even after a year or three of work, we’re never really sure we’ve created a great game until the fans come back and tell us we managed it.
The Horror! The Horror!
You might have heard horror stories about months-long crunch periods of 60 and 70 hour weeks to complete a game. The situation is industry-wide; almost all game companies have similar horrible overtime periods. But you may wonder why. I know we have at times… usually when we are in the middle of pulling an all-nighter.
What it all comes down to is that game development is an inherently chaotic process. We are trying to create an experience that has a certain feel and flavor, but our tools have no built-in intelligence. We have to draw every pixel, write every word of dialogue, and program every interaction. We create shortcuts for some of this, such as art tools that let us draw a polygon and apply a texture to it, object-oriented programming tools that let us specify a class of behavior for certain types of objects, and so on… but in the end, almost everything needs to be hand-tweaked, tested and retested for play balance, and finally reluctantly released to the playing public.
“… coming in as people who ordinarily just buy entertainment software, we didn’t understand that a project doesn’t actually look like anything until the very end. We had resigned ourselves to the fact that our game would be about grey blocks stumbling around a featureless world.” – Tycho
On the rare occasions when we get ahead of schedule, we use the extra time – and more – to add more features or to further tune the game play. Then, inevitably, many of the bugs and play balance problems show up only when we think the game is finished in the final phases of testing. This is of course because our characters are nothing but “grey blocks” for most of the development phase – The testers can’t really put a game through its paces until it’s almost finished.
No Pain – No Game?
Is it possible to create a great game without pain? In short, “no.” The pain can be reduced, and the overtime spread out a little, but a game produced strictly “by the book” on schedule is almost always a boring, flat-feeling game. That’s because game development is all about passion and chaos and “endless Sisyphean nightmare warrens.”
So, our advice to all you wannabe Game Designers really should be “don’t give in the the Dark Side of the Force.” But since no one ever takes that advice, don’t worry. We know a dandy lawyer who will be happy to write you up a Game Development contract. Don’t be too concerned if he asks you to sign it in blood. In triplicate.
Have fun!!!!!

Tags: Game Design, Humor
Posted in Featured, Game Design | 10 Comments »
Thursday, July 10th, 2008

I suppose that it’s a bit of an exaggeration to call this the “Class of the Titans,” but the Golden School is that “he who has the gold runs the school.” So we’ll class-ify ourselves as above average, and school ourselves to get back to the subject at hand – the Making of the “School for Heroes.”
Over the past few weeks, Lori has been working feverishly on creating www.TheSchoolForHeroes.com web site. She’s using the “grunge look” so that there is a lot of background detail behind everything on the page. Besides looking cool, this will give us the opportunity to sneak some hidden puzzles into the site. Meanwhile, Corey is creating an interactive “What kind of hero are you?” quiz to help our players/members decide on the character classes that best fit them for the school.
“Character class” is an old role-playing term, but it has a double-meaning when we’re talking about a school for heroes. The game characters will be assigned to a “class” such as Warrior, Wizard, or Paladin, then will take classes in that subject. Instead of just puzzles, we’ll have class assignments. Of course, the classes and assignments are all about fun, not busy-work!
Did you ever have one special teacher who really made you enjoy a class in school? That teacher probably gave you unusual assignments that really made you think about the subject material. One of Corey’s favorite teachers was Mr. Cross, an 8th grade math teacher. One day, when he saw that Corey was a little bored with the standard material, Mr. Cross asked him to stay a few minutes after class. Pulling out a College workbook on probability theory, he told Corey, “You might find this interesting.” A lifelong fascination with probability and chance began that day. By the way, Corey highly recommends “Lady Luck” by Warren Weaver if you’re interested in the subject.
Lori had a great high school English teacher, Mrs. Eades. This was the first time Lori really felt special in a class. Mrs. Eades went out of her way to encourage the talented students and make the class fun for them. Lori was inspired to continue studies in creative writing in College and to become a schoolteacher. Without Mrs. Eades’s encouragement, Lori might never have become a professional game writer.
The School for Heroes is full of special teachers for exceptional students. Everyone has the chance to show that they are heroes inside, and the teachers recognize and encourage this. They will go out of their way to make all of the classes fun, to create unique and challenging assignments, and to mold their students into true heroes. Have you done your Wizard homework lately? One of your assignments might be to search the school for hidden messages that can only be revealed by use of the Sense Magic spell you learned in the last class session. Of course it gets even more fun when you discover that not all of the secret messages out there were placed by your teacher. There are many secrets to discover in the School for Heroes.
So that’s what The School for Heroes is all about – a place where the true heroes live, laugh, love, and learn in an exciting, challenging, and above all fun environment. We hope to see you there with the other great heroes! We’ll be sure to send you to the head of the class.

Tags: Game Design, Humor, School for Heroes
Posted in Featured, Game Design | 2 Comments »
Friday, July 4th, 2008

Well, it’s Independence Day, more commonly known as the Fourth of July, here in the United States. It’s a time for fireworks and fun, hot dogs and burgers on buns, and terrible puns on the blog. We hope you’ll get a char-ge out of this and that we haven’t made ashes of our shelves.
When you’re hot, you’re hot, and we’re really fired up about this hot topic. So here’s a warm welcome to you all – we’re here to fan the flames of fandom for our Interactive Fiction.
Unfortunately, just last week, our hot dog, Zeus, was barking up a storm – a thunderstorm. It seems his namesake was tossing lightning and thunderbolts all around us. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and it was “Fire on the Mountain” “Smoke on the Water,” and “Dust in the Wind.” It was a hot time in the old town that night.
Corey of course sought to chill out in the World of Warcraft. The hot event there is the Midsummer Festival, where feeding fire spirits and throwing torches helped to light up the Summer skies. It certainly sparked his interest for a while.
Meanwhile Lori was filled with a burning desire to blaze some trails with new artwork for the upcoming School for Heroes web site. She designed blazons (coats of arms) for the four – or is it five?
– classes in the hero school. Only the mages get to play with fire, but Corey thinks all the designs are cool. Lori has also been burning the midnight oil creating other hot stuff for the Hero School site.
First, of course, we have to survive the baptism by fire that’s involved in learning a new game system, designing five games in one, and building a community on TheSchoolForHeroes.com web site. We’re already burning the candle at both ends making the game sizzle. It will take a lot of slow cooking to make the game sparkle before we’re ready to burn the final disks.
On a lighter note, have a happy Fourth of July, and hopefully when it comes to our game – you’re fired. (Up, that is…) Just don’t flame us or rake us over the hot Coles.

Tags: Humor, Interactive Fiction
Posted in Featured, Humor | No Comments »