Corey and Lori's Quest Log

Corey and Lori’s Quest Log

A Salt of the Earth Day

Last month we talked about a green holiday, St. Patrick’s Day. April 22 is an even greener day – Earth Day. This is a good time to explore the world around you and to celebrate nature.

Earth Day began in 1970 as an environmental “teach-in” event on College and High School campuses. Teaching about ecology is of course dangerous. Time Magazine at the time reported that some suspected the date was not a coincidence, but a clue that the event was “a Communist trick,” and quoted a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution as saying, “Subversive elements plan to make American children live in an environment that is good for them.”

Oh noes! Force our children to live in a healthy environment? Horrors! That could mean the end of the world as we know it.

Can We Afford a Green Planet?

I saw an anti-environment protest in my own home town just a few days ago on tax day; I think it was part of the Tea Party movement. One of the signs said, “Stop Eco-Terrorism. Let businesses prosper.” Or something like that.

My first reaction was, “Yeah, right. Bigoted idiot!” But then I thought, maybe I should put myself in their shoes. Maybe that protester had a point. Regulating the environment means forcing people to do things they don’t want to do. Pretty soon Big Government will start thinking they can regulate everything we do.

They won’t let us express our opinions by burning crosses on our neighbors’ lawns. They might even stop us from shooting people who look different from us!

Go GreenBusinesses need to prosper. Parks are wasted space that could be turned into productive operations such as strip mines, nuclear power plants, and jails for eco-terrorists. Clean air, oxygen, and ozone are just abstractions that a bunch of panty-waisted so-called scientists use to scare us. I mean, have you ever actually seen an oxygen molecule? I’m sure I haven’t. Not in Los Angeles or New York, anyway.

It gets worse. Under the Bush administration, people had real freedom to find oil in the Alaskan wilderness and off the California coast. These were brave pioneers, willing to explore the frozen tundra and wild seas in search of treasure. The current government not only wants to take away those rights. They want to raise taxes, penalizing those worthy citizens who hire the hard workers who turn worthless land into valuable industrial property.

The government wants to turn our billionaires into mere multi-multi-millionaires and spend their former wealth on bleeding-heart liberal programs such as feeding the poor, cleaning up the air, and other socialist nonsense. If they are so hot on these so-called public works projects, why don’t they tax the minimum-wage hourly workers more to pay for them? There are a lot more of them, and they already have trouble buying food and paying their rent, so what difference will a few less dollars make to them?

Change Makes a World of Difference

Earth is a hostile place by nature. When we lived off the land, people didn’t live very long. Through the centuries, we have steadily improved on nature. First we planted crops and herded animals, so we wouldn’t have to go out and hunt for them. Then the most forward-thinking of us began to herd people. Slaves and subsistence-level servants made life much easier for the few on top, the people who really knew how to make the world run.

Today these people are known as CEO’s, and they deservedly earn millions of dollars a year through the efforts of their serfs. Uh, workers. During hard times, they may make as little as five or ten million in a year, barely enough to keep up their modest mansions and estates. In a good year, they may make hundreds of millions, and those earnings are well deserved. How could their companies prosper without them to lead the way?

The only thing holding them back are those hordes of workers who insist that they should make the same ten or twenty thousand a year whether their company is making money or losing it. If they really cared about success, they would willingly give up their pay in a lean year so that the CEO could enjoy more of the fruits of his empire.

It is the vision of our leaders that led to chemical fertilizers, pesticides, genetic manipulation, and other improvements in production that have made our world the way it is now. Tree-huggers who insist on organic methods of raising crops want our farm corporations to lose money. Those techniques may work for small, independent farmers, but those aren’t the people who keep the supermarkets stocked.

Pave Paradise!

“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone? They paved Paradise and put in a parking lot.” – Joni Mitchell

Green PlanetThe eco-terrorists think of themselves as saving the environment, but let’s face it – They aren’t pro-environment. They’re anti-success! They are jealous of the visionaries who turn wasted empty forests and fields into productive, valuable strip mines, factories, and corporate office buildings. They think they’re smarter than the people who made this country great. They think they should get to tell us what to do when they have never run a single multi-billion dollar conglomerate.

The tree huggers want us to eat organically-grown vegetables and avoid any kind of meat. Real men eat meat. Vegetables are for feeding cattle. And we can’t grow them efficiently without fertilizers and pesticides. We’d get insects! It would cost more to grow them, and that means lost profits. Would you pay more for scrawny vegetables just because someone says they’re safer to eat? I thought not!

Preservation of habitat means restrictions on growth. Making it illegal to build roads and railroad tracks makes it take longer to travel and to move goods to the markets that want them. Stopping strip-mining means that we have less rock and metal with which to build, or higher prices for what we are able to mine. Preventing farming and ranching in jungle and wilderness areas means less land and higher costs for those activities. Do you want to spend more because some namby-pamby regulator makes it more expensive to do business? Hell no!

Goddamn Government

Who are these arbiters of the public good? They’re a bunch of left wing radical hippies. They probably all smoke pot in between sessions of Congress. Maybe even during office hours. Who will watch the watchmen? It better be Big Business, because businessmen know what’s good for the economy. And that means making profits so we can keep America strong!

If we can’t trust the government to make the decisions for us, then we had better take charge. That means taking out a little insurance. Contribute to the campaigns of right-minded, right-wing candidates to make sure their voices are heard. Spend a little more to silence the voices of the Commie-loving, fanatic eco-terrorists and big spending liberals. It will be cheaper than letting them tax your profits – after all, it’s all tax deductible if you know the right loopholes!

Celebrate Earth Day

Meep our Forests GreenSo go ahead. Take a walk in the woods and survey them for your next development. Visit a national park in your Hummer. Earth Day is a great day to remind yourself who is really in charge. Some fools think the Earth has limited resources, and that we’re digging our own graves by wasting and polluting. We know that there’s enough to last our lifetime. Who cares what happens after that? Eat, drink, and be merry – It’s Earth Day!


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