ars heroica

by Paladin Seeker Oukar

With every grand deed, a strong sense of accomplishment is achieved. With every failure, a slight disappointment encroaches, but a greater sense of knowing comes with it, to avoid the same mistakes. No matter the action, some sense of feeling comes to us, and what better way to emphasize the emotion than with a glorious tribunal tune?

Yes, even in this day and age, music is the amplification of the soul. No good deed goes unsung; Just ask any local bard. However, praise is merely an addition, whereas the true value lies in the lyrics of the instrument.

Should you come across a petty thief upon the streets, you could simply apprehend the criminal, turn him in to the proper authorities, and feel noble in your deed… Or, you could stand up to the felon, as a trumpeting of introduction follows your actions! Not only will others notice this great deed, and your own sense of accomplishment be magnified, but the unjust being will realize their foul deeds, and the pettiness that would be shown in attempting to resist. Thus, the struggle becomes far less violent, and everyone feels better in its end. Even the criminal will learn a lesson from the victory orchestra that plays as he, or she, is carted off to the local stock-hold.

The best part of it all is technology. In the days of old, a merry band would accompany the musically-inclined hero or heroine, giving a simple variety of pitch and note for all deeds. These days, you can carry a personal jPod*, set to play all you need when the situation calls for it, equipped with internal speakers, volume control, and a dazzling screensaver showing the 10 commandments, the holy vows, the Law of the Light, or whatever*** motivates you to keep on Heroing! There’s even a “casual” setting, for peaceful music to play with each non-violent step you take, and a smart chip to automatically play battle music when necessary. Certainly an improvement that can only be improved upon.

Just keep an ear out for any maniacal music you hear.. Rumors of a cPod* are going around quickly, and have inverse effects upon the soul. Remember, students. Keep your chin held high, and your volume at 50 to 85 percent to avoid hearing damage, and you’ll progress through each day with a grand stride of success. Just remember to keep it muted during class.

*The jPod (Justice Prevails Often Deliberately) is not waterproof or shockproof, and is not recommended to carry during intense heroic battles.
**The cPod (Corruption Passes Original Development) is not fireproof, ice-proof, or shockproof, and is not recommended to bring to evil lairs located in Hell, volcanoes, icebergs, tall mountaintops, or bases located 5,000 feet below sea level.
***The Cute Puppies and Fluffy Kittens screensaver is only available on the jPod, currently. The Tree Frog screensaver is only available on the cPod, currently.