Welcome to the newest addition of Ars Heroica. This month, I’m proud to announce that Corey Cole, Game Designer Extraordinaire, is our guest columnist. He responds directly to Pseudo’s intriguing article in last issue, “The Hope that Fools Bring.” It’s an interesting counterpoint to a very important issue.

Our next article is full of very useful advice on Public Speaking by Mars Driver. You would do very well keeping this in mind when next you face your fear of making a fool of yourself in front of a great deal of people.

Warrior Fleetwood dabbles in the practice of magic when he casts, “A Spell of Motivation.” I’m sure that all of us could use that bit of magic in our lives.

We next have Rinaldo Luke to answer the question, “Why Five Classes?” You’ll find some very cogent advice to the unwary within his words.

Finally, we have Paladin Knight RUSM talking about a serious social problem that few people are aware of – the price everyone pays for alcohol dependence.

I am sure you will find these articles fascinating and useful.

And so, without further ado, I let these fine students speak for themselves.

March onward, all!

We Might Be Giants

Pseudo began by talking about the rate of change in the world and the power of the Web. But how much of that power is real? Have we become gods, or even giants? I think we still have a way to go.

The Famous Adventurer noted in his assignment comments, “I wouldn’t overestimate the power of the Web. Yes, you can communicate something to a lot of people. But most of your target audience will never see it. Most of the people who read your words will remain unchanged by them. Perhaps affordable nanomachine factories that can be used by anyone will change the world in the way you describe, but the Web is just a glorified newspaper dominated by advertisements. This site could have been handled by mail 100 years ago. And how much real world change really happens from Facebook or Twitter posts?” I tend to agree with FA.

The Internet is a great medium for sharing information and ideas, but it is not really a great leap of technological invention. The real work is still being done by individuals and teams in laboratories, businesses, and occasionally garages. Advances in cellular biology, materials, and agriculture seem to me more important in the long run than the Internet. And yes, all of these fields are changing much more rapidly than 100 years ago. We deal with a lot of changes, but they don’t really change the fundamentals of living life. We work, we play, we eat, we sleep, we make love. The details change, but the fundamentals stay the same.

So, can an invention improve the world? I guess that depends on your definition of “the world,” but I’d have to say the answer is, “Yes.” The world as it matters to our selfish species is the environment in which we live. If inventions help us to live longer, feel better, accomplish more, or be happier, then I’d have to say they’ve improved the world. And we do live longer and accomplish more. Happier? Hard to say, but we certainly live more comfortably than the majority of people in the past. Why is the rate of invention and change accelerating? It’s because we’re “standing on the shoulders of giants” and using our advantages to create more new things faster.

End of the World

“The world is doomed, the individual can be saved,” says Pseudo. He’s at least half right – The world is doomed. The question is, “When?” Or perhaps, “How badly doomed is it?” Actually, the individuals will be gone even sooner – a lot sooner. There’s pretty much no question that someday our world will no longer be able to sustain life as we now know it. The long-term prognosis is grim. But what about the short term? What are we to make of our lives when, ultimately, they may have no meaning? After all, I doubt my name will be remembered 1,000 years from now, and certainly not in a million.

What was it Gandalf said in Fellowship of the Ring? “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” We live in the here and now, with some branches reaching out into the near future, and little tendrils extending a bit farther. Most of our influence is limited to ourselves, the people around us, and a few others whom they may, in turn, influence. But does that make our lives, our actions, or our dreams meaningless? I think not.

“It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.” – variously attributed. There are a lot of things wrong in the world, and it’s all eventually going to end, but that doesn’t mean we can’t live lives with meaning today. Pseudo points in that direction when he talks about the importance of the individual and how you can be a hero to one person at a time.

Hope and faith, when applied without action, are just excuses. That might be the sort of “hope that fools bring”. But when it is used to inspire us to accomplish challenging tasks, hope is a powerful force. We can look at a seemingly-insoluble problem such as poverty or pollution, and it’s easy to just give up. Or we can apply a little hope and ask, “What little piece of that problem can I solve?” then go and do it. These little hopes and small actions are the building blocks from which a better world can be made. It won’t happen overnight, and no one or few of us can do it by ourselves, but piece by piece, we build structures that may stand for a long time.

Foolish? Maybe. But it’s the sort of foolishness that gets things done, and that gives our lives purpose right here and right now. And that’s the only place and time where we can act.

Here’s hoping!

by Coyote Mars Driver

An article on overcoming a common fear through simple actions and behaviors

Seeing as how it’s been about a year since I last submitted anything to the school, I felt it appropriate to celebrate this anniversary by writing about a subject with which I am quite familiar, but many may not be. Public speaking is something that most people list as their number one fear, and they often accompany this claim with understandable reasons. But we’re here at this school not to be “just another everybody.” We’re here to be special; to rise above those around us, and help those around us by utilizing any number of our specific talents. In the end, however, it is those who can convey their point without physical force that are elevated to the status of true heroes. This is why it is incredibly important to master the art of conversation, not only on an individual basis, but in front of the masses, as well.

Now, I understand that many of you are uncomfortable with the thought of speaking to large audiences, which is completely understandable. Most of you are here because you are not like everyone around you in your lives. You are here because you are different, and that is what makes you unique. Unfortunately, this may have had a negative impact on your ability to communicate with those around you. This is precisely the reason that I am here to help you.
Public speaking is like any other aspect of your life, whether it be sword-fighting, spell-casting, or treasure-recovering. With practice, one can achieve great success in their respective fields. However, without the proper guidance, all the practice in the world will not make you better at what you do.

Now, at this point, you’re most likely thinking to yourself, “get to the point, he just keeps talking and talking.” This observation of yours brings me to my first point: Take it slow, and stretch things out. Many times, when one is uncomfortable with speaking to large groups, one will often increase the tempo of their speech. This increase in speed not only distracts the audience, but increases the rate of failure for the speaker. When you are speaking to a large audience, the foremost thought in your brain is to talk slowly. While this may aid you in keeping your audience captivated, it also serves a dual purpose. When you are speaking slowly, your thoughts are still traveling at their normal speed. This will give you ample time to find the perfect segue into your next point, by the time you’re only halfway finished with your first. Speaking slowly allows you to appear confident, and gives you the proper time required to think of your next point. Just let yourself relax, take things slowly, and don’t get ahead of yourself.

This brings us, appropriately, to our next point. Confidence. I’m not going to tell you something trite like “imagine the audience in their undergarments.” What I would have you utilize is another type of confidence. You’re at the head of the room for a reason. Someone wants you to speak because you’re the best at talking about what needs to be said. However, there is a difference between being confident, and being condescending. What I am about to tell you is something that you need to keep in your thoughts only, and never in your tone or in your actions. Since you’ll be speaking slower, take that extra time to look around the audience. Stare them down, but keep your eyes moving. Never maintain eye-contact with a single person for more than a few words of your speech. Keep things moving at about the same rate you’re speaking. If you move your eyes around too fast, your voice will follow, and you’ll be right back where you started from.

Confidence also stems from body language, and unless you’ve been learning how to manipulate your body’s subliminal cues for quite some time, you’ll just have to do the next best thing, and actually be confident in yourself. This may seem like a daunting task, but there is one last trick that will help you keep these points in the front of your mind, and allow you to appear cool and collected. In reality, even if you’re still engaging in public speaking for traditional education, what do you care what people think of you? Be honest with yourself, you aren’t best friends with everyone who’s listening to you, right? What do you care if they don’t like you? Now, this may seem a bit harsh, but one of the main reasons that people provide for a fear of public speaking is “what if I mess up and the crowd doesn’t like me?” Well, what do you care? You’ll never see them again. And you’ll soon find that when you don’t care about how others perceive you, you’ll stop making mistakes that would cause said others to judge you harshly.

As I’m beginning to become long-winded, (as you soon will be, too…) I’ll sum up the major points, so you’ll have a handy checklist before that next big presentation.

1) Speak Slowly. When you talk slowly, but not in a way that makes you sound exhausted, you convey confidence that would not exist when speaking rapidly. It also serves the dual purpose for you to gather your thoughts, and to find the best way to tie them together.

2) Eye Contact. Keep it, but never for more than a few words. Keep your eyes moving. Try to match the tempo of your speech with your eye-contact. It’s important to stare down your audience, but looking too long can lead to a distraction, which will throw you off.

3) Confidence. This may seem daunting, but remember, you can fake it until it’s really there by utilizing the points in this article. You’re at the head of the room for a reason, because you’re the expert on what it is you’re speaking about. And if you mess up, who cares? No one in the room has major control over the outcome of your life. You’ll never even see most of them again, so what does it matter what they think? You’re the hero. You’re the head of the room. You’re the expert. It’s time to show them why.

The rest will come naturally, as long as you remember these things. Pace yourself, keep the rhythm of your speech and body in check and never look down for too long. Maintain your eye-contact all across the room, never keeping it focused for more than a sentence, and remember that no one’s opinion but your own matters. After a bit of practice, you’ll be well on your way to mastering public speaking in no time.

This “Spell of Motivation” is based on the work of two great Motivational Wizards, Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy. I encourage you to get and listen to their tapes for additional motivational spells. I wrote this spell out as a comment for a young wizard. Though a warrior myself, I do find that having a small arsenal of spells at your disposal makes fighting the dragons of your life that much easier to handle.

Burning desire is the fuel of attaining what you want. As a wizard, it makes sense that what you truly desire is knowledge and understanding. The term “wizard” itself is made up “wiz”, i.e. wisdom, and “ard”, as in “drunkard”.

A wizard is someone who is addicted to learning and knowledge, often at the expense of everything else and everyone else. Now while I hope this is not actually your case, it does show how deep your desire needs to burn. You have already begun one of the first steps towards motivation – deciding what you really want in life.

Goal Setting

The first step, is goal setting. Take a piece of paper and a pen, and write down everything you want in life. I mean everything. What you want to learn, what you want to earn, where you want to live, where you want to vacation, who you want to be friends with, the kind of relationship you want to have, the kind of family life you want to have, spiritual development, academic achievement, professional designations, weight, level of health, community participation, language learning, pets, business, everything. Use a pen and print, as the physical act of writing will help imbed these goals into your subconscious mind. Write down everything you can think of, and don’t censor yourself. (I once wrote down Ph.D. in Mathematics. Write it down anyways.) Once you are done set it aside. You will probably come up with one or two more things over the next 24 hours. Write these down as well.

After you’ve done, write down “Why?” Next to each item on your list, write the reason you want to achieve this goal. This act will help crystallize the desire for achieving your goal and help build your desire. Its not enough to just want something – you need to know why you want it as well.

Once you have done that its time to pick 3 or 4 goals to be your main goals.
Right now, my main goals are to learn French and complete a course to be an English teacher overseas (I’m moving to France). By limiting your energy on only a few things, you harness the power of focus. Focused sunlight can cause paper to burn, and a focused stream of water can cut diamond. Focused time lets you blast through your goals, which itself is another form of motivation – nothing succeeds like success!

“Magical” Goals

Your fantasy and imagination are key sources of goals. I see from your list that there are many things here that are somewhat “magical”. However, with a bit of creativity on your part, you can turn your magical desires into realized achievements. For example, I noticed that you have the desire to both teleport and be in two places at once. As someone who has also had this fantasy, I can tell you that developing a better insight into how time operates (how long things take, how long it takes to get places, being honest with yourself about what you really want to be doing with your time, truly believing that it is important to be at places on time) has helped me tone down my desire to be able to teleport, and get where I need to be. I’m sure you can find other “real world” methods to help you attain your “magical” desires.

Action

Finally, perhaps the biggest trick in motivation is to just do it. There is a misconception in our society that action follows motivation. Sadly (for myself included), this is just not the case. Motivation follows action. One trick that you can use is to promise yourself to work on your goals “for just 5 minutes”. At the end of 5 minutes, you can decided whether you want to continue, or work for “just another 5 minutes”. Jumping in and continuing is a technique that has helped me get through those projects I just didn’t want to do. I think it can work for you as well.

Conclusion

Writing down your goals is a key factor in being motivated and getting what you want out of life. Most people do not have clearly defined goals, but you will. Writing down what you want out of life helps you crystallize it in your mind, and give you something concrete and tangible to shoot for. This entire exercise should not take you more than two hours, but it will give you several additional hours per week in the form of increased energy, and desire to get things done. You may end up watching less Reality TV, but I think Living in Reality is much more fun. Good Luck, I know you can do it!

It may seem a silly question. “Different people are different,” you might say,”Everyone has different strengths or skills- no one class could encompass all of the different ways to be a hero.” While I agree with the sentiment, I see a greater point in having more than one class of hero: teamwork.

There are three major benefits to working as a team. The first is purely psychological. We feel safer in groups. If you are walking alone on an unfamiliar street, you feel more confident if you are with a half dozen people you know than going it alone. The second is distributive. A team of ten can work a lot faster than a single individual.

While both of these reasons are important to general teamwork, they only lightly apply to the school. Don’t get me wrong: it IS helpful to know that there are others of a heroic mindset out there, and group projects like Ars Heroica can be produced a lot more quickly if more than one or two people is contributing.

But the biggest benefit of having a group is that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. One person can shore up another’s weaknesses. The Fighter may be a great leader, but without a Paladin to act as his conscience, many a great leader has become arrogant or tyrannical. Without a Wizard to give him information, he may not know where to go with his mission or how best to beat it. Without the stories of a Bard, he might never have become a hero in the first place, or might despair along the way, or might have trouble gaining allies for his cause.

Similarly, a Paladin may know what]s right, but they may need a Bard to help convince others of it. And a Fighter is a welcome addition to actually gaining ground on those good intentions. And a Wizard might be able to find information that will help guide the Paladin’s conscience.
The list goes on for each of us. We all have strengths and weaknesses. And even if you are great at everything, it’s problematic to actually *do* everything. By fitting us into classes and archetypes, we are able to communicate what our strengths and weaknesses are before even getting to know each other well. Which can help if we ever decide to do anything with this inspiration to act heroically, ya know?

And it doesn’t have to be immediate, practical help. It can just be having another point of view around to bounce ideas off of. I am a bard of sorts but sometimes I need a bard who is better at communicating to an audience, since my specialty is with mental games, puzzles, and strategy. And while I can be a good go-getter, it doesn’t hurt to have someone who is really specialized like that. And since I hang out with the “scum of the earth” (I call them buddies, but to each their own) it helps to occasionally listen to a Paladin, to make sure I am still basically doing good things. And a Wizard is always welcome for information that I didn’t learn in a game.

Since the theme of this article seems to be helping each other, I am going to start off with a little of what I like to call “Back Alley Bard,” help. Like I said, I know a lot of games and puzzles. This includes con games. I don’t con people out of money, though. I use the games to beguile, and then I get their attention by explaining the games. It’s fun to see them trying to puzzle it out, and in the end when they get the answer, they are better prepared against any actual thieves or brigands and perhaps have learned something about the nature of the con.

Here’s one con I think everyone can learn a lot from, and we’ve all seen it or heard about it. It’s called, “The Shell Game” and most people *think* they know how it is played. Let me set up a scenario for you, and let you see what you think of it.

You are walking down a street, when you see a bunch of guys crowded around a card table. Curious, you see what’s up, and you see a guy playing the “Shell Game.” Three cards are face down, and if the Ace of Spades is picked, the guy wins ten bucks, with a five dollar bet. You see that the guy running the game is actually pretty fair about it. The guy is losing some and winning some, and you get the impression after watching for a bit that you could do better, having seen him fail a couple times where you would have made it. He steps away from the game, and the dealer looks at you, “Want to play? 5 bucks gets you in.”

Now, a trick of the shell game is this: sometimes the dealer will let you win to get you more invested in winning. But when he plays it right, the “right shell” (a card in this case) will always end up in the same place.

So if you were playing this game, would you pick the card to your right, your left, or in the center?

Take a moment to guess before reading on.

If you guessed it was on the right – not quite. If you guessed it was on the left – sorry. If you guessed it is in the center – nope. But wasn’t that all of the options? No. Because he palmed the card when you were distracted by his fast hand motions, or when a person bumped the table, or when someone spoke to you. The first guy, who kept winning and losing? He was a friend of the dealer. No money was really won or lost when he did that. He only wins money from people who assume the game is fair, because they see others winning and losing. The shell game runs on the assumption that the rules of the game are still being followed, when at some point the rules changed.

A lot of cons are like that. The more fair the rules seem, the more likely it is that the game is rigged. I know a couple of games that seem completely fair, but in reality are completely rigged. Why should the dealer give you a 1 in 3 chance of winning if he can give you a 1 in 0 chance? Some of these games use slight of hand, some of these games use tricks of probability that people are notoriously bad with, some games have principles that are unstated, but which allow one side victory, and finally, sometimes the rules of the game have just switched on you and you didn’t see it happen. The first rule of a con is, “Don’t bother getting sucked into one.”

Why bring this up to my fellow heroes? Because someone came up with this game. People play it every day. Not every person who runs a con is a bad person, but if you are out there in the world, eventually you are going to run into someone who is operating a con. Maybe it’s office politics, where one person seems to have an uncanny edge on everyone else. Maybe it’s a friend who always seems to be able to say just the right thing to make you do what they want. Maybe it’s something else. But half of my job as a disbarred bard is to run the tables to help the little guy, but the other half is to warn my fellows against thinking they can beat the house.

What special skills do you have from your class that others can benefit from? We could all use a little wisdom in our lives. Help out your fellows by showing them what makes YOU special and teach the rest of us how we might shore up our weak points while maximizing our strengths.

I must begin by warning potential readers that this topic involves medicine. I have tried to remove any gory details. I have also removed the names of people and institutions. I apologize in advance for any jargon that remains. I tried to remove most of it!

During my undergraduate studies, I worked as an emergency medical technician. Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights the Emergency Department was mine to roam.

I could use this article to discuss the gunshot victims, the myocardial infarcts, the dead infants, but I have little regrets in my choices in all of those cases. I know that the ED staff and I did everything possible to save those lives. I guess it is just an axiom that you cannot save everybody and some people are just beyond our ability to save them. You can usually call the outcome of a case the moment the medics come rolling in with the gurney.

What I do regret is the problem I call the rotating door. It is the primary reason why most people must wait hours in the ED waiting room. It is the reason why patients get so upset and frustrated. It is also part of the reason why those hospital bills cost so much.

The rotating door refers to the “troll” patients as they are so affectionately called. They tend to be afflicted with alcohol dependence. Most of these patients are not homeless as you might expect. They have jobs, they have money, and some have pretty nice homes. What they do not have is the ability to pay the exorbitant hospital bills because of the frequency in which they visit.

A usual visit begins with the paramedic radio going off. “Male approximately forty years of age found unconscious – possible ETOH.” There it is. ETOH. Around five minutes later the patient arrives not unconscious, but just wanting to sleep. This patient is breathing, usually able to ambulate (walk on their own), and aware of their surroundings. Yet, the ambulance ride gives them a first-class ticket back to the ED, which means that the little girl with the high grade fever and abdominal pain will have to wait a little longer for a room.

What happens next disturbs some people. I will tell you that it disturbs me too, however, after experiencing it hundreds of times I have no regrets about what usually happens. The first step is we check in the patient and get a set of entrance vital signs, including a PBT breathalyzer. The patient is usually well over the legal limit and sometimes over the lethal limit. It is not uncommon to see a reading of .6 or higher. The amazing thing is that these patients can walk without assistance. If they can walk, they are usually discharged on the spot either to police custody or their own (depending on whether the police were on scene when the ambulance picked them up). The problem in either situation is that the patient will be back in an hour or two.

These patients cost the hospital money, so the idea is to get rid of them before they become sick. The problem with severe alcohol dependence is the need of alcohol. An alcohol dependence patient that is allowed to sober up in the ED will become a very sick and possibly a dead patient – seizures, delirium tremens, etc (they can even become violent. I have personally been punched, bitten, spat on by these patients). The hope is that we can get them into police custody where they can be allowed to sober up in the drunk tank under the supervision of a nurse; and sent back to us if things do go poorly. The problem is that the patients cost the police department money and the CPC truck (constable protective custody) will drop them off a couple blocks down the road, so the cycle repeats. The system falls even more apart when a social worker gets involved. The social worker can only suggest a treatment program, but unfortunately, the wait list for such programs is six months to a year.

I have stood back and watched these patients enter and leave and enter into the ED again and again. I stood back when I know there is something that must be done to break the vicious, expensive cycle. I know longer work in the ED, but when my clinical rotations begin next year, I will be faced with the situation again. What will I do differently? I do not know, but I am open to suggestions.

Regardless, the next time you are in an ED waiting room and must wait for hours; do not get mad at the nurses and doctors who are there to help you. Realize that something, like this might have occurred. The fact is that alcohol dependence cost us all millions of dollars every year.

We are proud to announce another edition of Ars Heroica. This month, we focus on a true class act – the Bard. Yes, those premier performers have the spotlight on the Ars Heroica stage.

Bardic Beginnings

When the School for Heroes first opened its double doors to welcome all seekers of heroic education, we offered no sanctuary for those individuals whose hearts throbbed to the rhythm of the drumbeat. There was no place at our school for foolish frivolity or maudlin music. This was a place for serious education.

Even so, there joined a few students who were blessed by the muses with the gifts of melody and theatrical talent. Many of our Warriors also played musical instruments. The strains of arias sung by an operatic diva rang through the wizard walls. The very air vibrated with the voice of a classical violin.

It was obvious from our talented students that there is more to being a Hero than mere study and practice. Sometimes, it takes entertainment and inspiration to be a Hero.

The School for Heroes needs Bards.

Bards Welcome

I, the Famous Adventurer, am also a Bard. Nay, I do not sing and dance before an audience. My muses are those more serious symbols of history and epic writing, for I am the chronicler of heroic tales and guides. My stage is the book and my words inspire and enthrall the imagination of all who read them.

Most of us have a little Bard in our nature. We resonate with the beat of the band and sounds of a song. We are captivated by the cadence of a skilled communicator. We know that there is more to being a Hero than just doing good deeds. One person cannot change the world by himself. One person can inspire other people to change the world with him (or her).

We all need Bards.

Welcome, my dear friends and Heroes-in-training. Recently returned from my whirlwind world tour of command performances before the crowned heads of Albion, Nova Roma, and Marete, I am The Great Lorenzo, Maestro of the College of Bards here at the School for Heroes. I am here today to enlighten you as to the purpose of that College. We are the keepers of lore, the tellers of tales, the singers of songs, and the allotters of alliteration. Ahem. We use words, music, drama, and art to teach and inspire. We are the messengers of the spirit of heroism.

Word!

It’s all about the words, really. Words are powerful things. They can encourage, discourage, incite, calm, prove, disprove, bless, or condemn. They can inform or sometimes obfuscate. Western religious scriptures – whether Christian, Jewish, or Muslim – are often called “The Word” or “The Word of God”.

That is the power of words… and their greatest problem. Because words have power, but they don’t necessarily tell the truth. And a sincerely-spoken untruth can be a very dangerous and evil thing.

”The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – Jean Giraudoux

Bards have a great power and an even greater responsibility. We can spin words in ways that have a profound influence on our listeners. Words can be powerful weapons, and even stronger tools. Because we are Heroes as well as entertainers, we have the obligation to use our words in ways that enrich our listeners. We must tell the Truth, and we must tell the Important Truths – things that matter, words that can make the world a better place.

The Line in the Sand

You’ve heard the phrase, “drawing a line in the sand,” but do you know where it came from? King Antiochus IV had invaded Egypt and was on his way to Alexandria when an old man barred his way. Gaius Popillius Laenas, representing the Roman Senate, told Antiochus that if he proceeded, he would be at war with the Roman Empire.

The King said that he would need to confer with his council, but Gaius drew a circle around him in the sand, then reportedly said, “Before you cross this circle I want you to give me a reply for the Roman Senate.” Antiochus did not want a war with Rome and backed down. That’s how powerful a few words can be. You can say, “No, that was the power of the Roman Empire,” but it’s more than that. Those words turned a distant, potential danger into an immediate threat. Antiochus, powerful and successful as he was, did not dare to kill the messenger or ignore the message.

Being a Bard

To be a Bard is to wield the power of Gaius Popillius. We chose this path because of our love for music, for performance, and drama. But we were called to the Way of the Bard for a higher reason. We are here because we love to teach, to move, and to inspire as well as entertain. By such simple acts as drawing a line – along with the right words at the right moment – we can alter the world.

But enough of such seriousness! We have a show to put on, and our Bards have kindly consented to perform it for you! Here in the pages of Ars Heroica are some recent examples of the Bardic Art in action.

Maestro of the College of Bards

In my organization, “Bard” has a specific meaning and cultural history to the word. As stated in the assignment question, our modern conception of bards is very similar to the tribal storyteller or wandering entertainers who spread news, stories of heroic deeds, and other entertainment to those they encountered. The skalds of the Norse were a prime example of this type of storyteller; their stories were often put in poetic form, a method beloved by many of the ancient peoples.

However, there are other aspects of the Bard in ancient times that I feel still have a strong influence on today. The fili of Ireland, often considered the Irish version of bards, were credited with the ability to satirize anyone who treated them ill, and thus curse a person – and his descendants – for generations. Skalds with training in writing were supposed to have similar abilities, through the erection of nidhing poles which detailed a person’s faults and failings. Words were a valuable and powerful weapon of the ancient entertainers, and we still see this today in the form of slanted media coverage and editorials in both the newspaper and blogs.

Further, much of the Bard’s work was considered in Gaul to have a divinatory purpose: specifically, a proper poet and musician was a diviner of the past, providing the window of history to their audience; this is the reason that “Bard” was one of three levels within the Gallic Druidic society of which Julius Caesar spoke. This is even more evident in today’s bards, though divination is not considered to be what the storyteller or musician or poet is doing through their arts. While the stories themselves may not be literally true, they showcase something evident throughout the ages of humanity: emotion, pattern, the human condition.

A bard today is part teacher, part entertainer, whether their medium is poetry, prose, or music. When something is entertaining, when it holds the attention of the audience, it tends to be remembered and conveyed. Bards today bring forth the window to the past just as certainly as their more “magical” ancient counterparts. The old tales are re-imagined, re-invented, and added to newer ones; the wisdom is passed from one generation on, in a method that will continue to hold the attentions of others. Words are still power, as are images and sounds; they continue to be interpreted and re-interpreted through the ages, and they continue to inspire and inform, all through the work of bards.

With every grand deed, a strong sense of accomplishment is achieved. With every failure, a slight disappointment encroaches, but a greater sense of knowing comes with it, to avoid the same mistakes. No matter the action, some sense of feeling comes to us, and what better way to emphasize the emotion than with a glorious tribunal tune?

Yes, even in this day and age, music is the amplification of the soul. No good deed goes unsung; Just ask any local bard. However, praise is merely an addition, whereas the true value lies in the lyrics of the instrument.

Should you come across a petty thief upon the streets, you could simply apprehend the criminal, turn him in to the proper authorities, and feel noble in your deed… Or, you could stand up to the felon, as a trumpeting of introduction follows your actions! Not only will others notice this great deed, and your own sense of accomplishment be magnified, but the unjust being will realize their foul deeds, and the pettiness that would be shown in attempting to resist. Thus, the struggle becomes far less violent, and everyone feels better in its end. Even the criminal will learn a lesson from the victory orchestra that plays as he, or she, is carted off to the local stock-hold.

The best part of it all is technology. In the days of old, a merry band would accompany the musically-inclined hero or heroine, giving a simple variety of pitch and note for all deeds. These days, you can carry a personal jPod*, set to play all you need when the situation calls for it, equipped with internal speakers, volume control, and a dazzling screensaver showing the 10 commandments, the holy vows, the Law of the Light, or whatever*** motivates you to keep on Heroing! There’s even a “casual” setting, for peaceful music to play with each non-violent step you take, and a smart chip to automatically play battle music when necessary. Certainly an improvement that can only be improved upon.

Just keep an ear out for any maniacal music you hear.. Rumors of a cPod* are going around quickly, and have inverse effects upon the soul. Remember, students. Keep your chin held high, and your volume at 50 to 85 percent to avoid hearing damage, and you’ll progress through each day with a grand stride of success. Just remember to keep it muted during class.

*The jPod (Justice Prevails Often Deliberately) is not waterproof or shockproof, and is not recommended to carry during intense heroic battles.
**The cPod (Corruption Passes Original Development) is not fireproof, ice-proof, or shockproof, and is not recommended to bring to evil lairs located in Hell, volcanoes, icebergs, tall mountaintops, or bases located 5,000 feet below sea level.
***The Cute Puppies and Fluffy Kittens screensaver is only available on the jPod, currently. The Tree Frog screensaver is only available on the cPod, currently.