Famous Adventurer Here!
At last, I have successfully found my way out of the labyrinthine Meep warren in which I have been trapped for the past month. Do you know what it’s like to crawl through narrow passages for days on end?
Remind me never to accept an invitation to speak with the Mastermind Meep ever again.
I’m not really sure how the Meeps got me to the center of the Meep lair. They blindfolded me and led me by my hand down some very small passages, but my trusty pith helmet protected me from serious cranial damage. Nor did I have to crawl to get to the Mastermind Meep. That would have been the ultimate of indignities, let me tell you.
After hours of walking blindfolded through little twisty passages all alike, I finally got to the Meep Great Hall. Imagine my disgust to find out that the Mastermind Meep wanted to write the Hero’s Journal! He only wanted you students to know how peaceful and lovable Meeps really are – or so he said.
I, of course, told him that while he was welcome to write for the Ars Heroica, the Hero’s Journal is MINE. It is the window to the workings of the School for Heroes and the pen through which I pontificate.
The Mastermind Meep had the nerve to just laugh at me. He told me that I could be his ‘honored’ guest until I changed my mind. Little did he know how stubborn I can be. “Never!” said I.
He laughed again.
At least they fed me well during my captivity. However, I do not think I will ever eat another apple in my life.
I have no idea how many Meeps there are running around the myriad passages under the school. I do know that a Meep Maze is devilishly twisty. I also know that the “Meep Underground Movement” is a definite threat. What sort of threat is unclear. However, it is obvious that no apple orchard is safe from their treacherousness.
The good news is that I have escaped from the Meep machinations and have returned to my rightful place as adjudicator and journalist for the Hero’s Journal.
The better news, of course, is NO MORE MEEPs!
Never let the Little Things get you Down – or at least, not for long.
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Mastermind Meep Here.
Bah. Meep Month is almost over. We successfully commandeered the “Hero’s Journal.” We got our “Meep FAQs Page.” We have done everything we could to ingratiate and endear ourselves to you people.
So, where’s the respect?
Only three people responded to our magnanimous gesture to extend a hand of understanding and enlightenment by posting on the Student Forum. One of you… you know who you are… responded with a joke. The other two showed some semblance of honest curiosity.
But can Meeps really walk, talk, and chew gum at the same time? I mean, really – is that a serious question? Do you have any idea what happens when a Meep tries to blow a gum bubble? You have to have complete concentration to blow a gum bubble, or the end result is not a pretty sight. It can take weeks for all the hair to grow back…
That is why bubble gum blowing is part of the Meep Olympic Games. We compete to see who can blow the biggest bubble without winding up with a hirsute disaster. Meeps love a good challenge. We also like cinnamon gum.
You ask what do Meeps eat… Now that is subject dear to our hearts (and stomachs). We eat anything. We are consummate culinary crafts-meep at coming up with creative and yummy recipes. We win the Meep Iron Chef challenge every year. Any Meep worth his salt can cook. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Our version of “Gummy Worms.”
As for the question about why we our out to conquer the world… Have no fear. We are happy, friendly Meeps. We always have everyone’s best interests at heart. We exist only to serve. And we will serve man in a wide variety ways…
So, before we let the Famous Adventurer back out of his room, I now accept your accolades and praise for these words of wisdom I have bestowed upon you all this month. You have my permission to comment and compliment upon my immortal prose. By all means, let the Famous Adventurer know how much Meeps mean to you.
May this May have been a Meeply moving experience for all of you.
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Mastermind Meep Here.
Now we’re really rocking with Meep Month…
We Meeps want to mug you.
That’s right, humans. We want you to support your favorite furry friends and The School for Heroes intramural sports team at the same time. “How,” you ask me? By purchasing your very own “Mighty Meeps™” travel mug with the official team Meep logo on it from the Hero Bazaar.
And to cap your day, you can buy the “Mighty Meeps™” baseball cap to keep the sun out of your eyes when you are out rooting for our fencing team. Nobody can dig a fence post like a Meep!
Not a sports fan? Not a problem! How about a nice cup of hot apple cider with a cinnamon stick in it in your very own “Meep Rocks™” Mug? Everyone loves hot apple cider. Everyone I know, that is.
After all, what better way is there to celebrate “Meep Month™” than by owning your very own official “Meep Month™” souvenir mug or hat?
There are only a few more days left to “Meep Month™” but you can hold onto the memories forever. Memories taste really good with hot apple cider in a “Meeps Rock™” Mug, after all.
Your support Meeps a lot to us all.
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Mastermind Meep here.
As part of May Meep Month, we Meep are coming out of our holes. Far too many of you humans are not even aware of our existence.
I accept that this abominable ignorance on your part is in part because we Meep have been so successful at being secretive. However, It is time for us Meep to stop hiding under our rocks and leap into the limelight. Meep need to embrace the global community of social networking.
And so, to that end, I’m proud to announce our very own public service webpage – “Meet the Meep”.
Yes, we Meep have our very own page where you can find the answer to every question you wanted to know about Meeps but were afraid to ask. Hey, it’s a start. We even got a mention in Wikipedia. And we got our own poll.
Heh heh heh… Facebook, here we come!
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Mwahahahaha!
Mastermind Meep here.
We Meeps have officially commandeered this journal for our own. Too long we have cowered in our holes under our rocks, playing hide and go meep… er… seek.. with humans. It is time for us to meep… er… leap into the forefront. May is now the Month of the Meep!
Today, the month. Tomorrow, the World! Next month – maybe your world…
Throughout time, Meeps have been ignored by you people. Our greatest work of art – Stonehenge – has been attributed to humans. Tell me, who but a Meep would so lovingly stack those rocks? After all, we get all sedimentary about rocks. It’s your people to take rocks for granite.
To properly celebrate Meep Month – feel how tingly those words trip off the tongue – Meep Month – ooh, gives me shivers. Ahem. As I was starting to say, to celebrate Meep Month here at the school for wannabe heroes, we are going to have a Meep of the Week. Yes, each week, one of our main minions will pop up into the spotlight here in the journal. You don’t want to miss this Meep treat.
Remember, we Meeps are your friends. We want to have meepingful relationships with you. We’ll be happy to share your apples and other tasty treats you grow for us. We’re glad to patrol your gardens for pests. (You haven’t lived until you’ve tried our gopher goulash, grasshopper gumbo, and Mole in molé sauce.) We are happy Meeps living in our happy holes. No need to be concerned about our plans for world domination.
So hold on to your pith helmets, boys and girls, it’s going to be a rocky trip through Meep Month. We’ll try not to throw too many stones at you.
Meep on Truckin,
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Famous Adventurer here.
April was a grand time of the year here. I do hope that you have made the most of the month while you had the chance. After all, it’s almost gone. And when it is over, comes the May. And in May…
We here at the school listen to you, our students. We want you to feel like this school is your home. Therefore, we go out of our way to heed your suggestions, even when they are painful. In some matters, even against our better judgment, the vox populi rules.
In a recent survey, we asked you what you wanted to see more of here at the site. Unfortunately, one of the things you said you really wanted to see is…sigh…
Meeps.
And so, it is my unpleasant chore to announce that May is hereby officially deemed Meep Month. We will permit the little hairballs to invade our sacred halls. There will be a “Spot the Meep” contests. There will be an interview with a particularly influential Meep – the Meep VIP. There will be more Meeps than one can hit with a stick.
What is a Meep, you ask? Next month, that question will be answered.
A Call to Duty
Alas, we still need a few more articles for the next issue of Ars Heroica. I would prefer not to have the entire magazine devoted to Meep malarkey. Personally, I believe that Meeps make fine dust mops and that’s about the extent of it. So please, submit more articles. Let’s not make May Meep Month any more meepingful than it already is.
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It isn’t easy being a Hero.
People just don’t understand you. Why are you going so far out of your way to help? Where’s the profit motive? Why are you wasting your time with them?
People don’t trust you. Why are you doing this? What’s in it for you? No one is that good.
It’s hard to keep a heroic attitude when you are questioned and criticized for the things you are trying to do.
That’s why we all need a School for Heroes. We need the support and the understanding of other people who know just how hard it is to be heroic. Everyone at this school will stand beside you and cheer you on your way. These are your friends, your peers, and your fellow heroes.
So every day, march to your own beat. Hold your head up high and ignore the criticisms and jeers of fools and detractors. You are marching to the heartbeat of Heroism.
Ars Heroica
Next week, we will be publishing another edition of Ars Heroica, the magazine written by other heroes just like you. This is where we share the trials and tribulations of being a Hero. We give advice and encouragement to our fellow students.
Do you have something you know will help other people be heroes? Perhaps there is a noble cause (like helping to rebuild Haiti) in which you believe strongly? What better place than the Ars Heroica and the School for Heroes will you find other people to rally to your worthy endeavor?
I encourage you all to contribute to our magazine. Leave a comment. Write an article. Encourage others on their heroic march.
Writing, like heroism, isn’t easy. But someone’s got to do it. Why not you?
March onward!
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Famous Adventurer Here!
A New Year has begun and the School for Heroes again opens its doors to new students and new events. We want to thank all of you who have supported and stayed with us throughout this turbulent first year. You survivors now know for a fact that a little learning can be a very dangerous thing. You’ll be pleased to know that many of the students who suffered unfortunate accidents last year are recovering with only minor inconvenient disabilities.
Bardic Beginnings
We are proud to announce the upcoming publication of the next edition of our school magazine, “Ars Heroica”. This month’s theme will be about those melodious and memorable masters of enriching and enlightening entertainment, the Bards. Our Bard Instructor, The Great Lorenzo himself, will regale us with tales of his illustrious career and give us insights into what it means to be a bard. Our Bard Performer, Gaarik, presents a personal story about what it means to be a Bard. Even our Novice Paladin, Tiny Anita, practices his poetry with a sonnet on “The Soul of Heroism.”
On other serious matters, the Knight RUSM gives a call to action to us all to act as true Heroes to the nation of Haiti. He gives practical information on how each of us can help ease the suffering of the earthquake victims.
Our Disbarred Bard, Pseudo, has written a rather controversial essay on the futility of Heroism. I hope you will all see fit to add your own comments and opinions about this subject.
Apprentice Aztec Monkey God has some interesting thoughts on how to be a Hero every day.
I’m sure we’ll have some other surprises to share with you in this insightful and interesting issue of Ars Heroica.
An Astonishing Announcement
We would like to be the first to announce that those renowned game designers, Corey and Lori Cole, are actively involved in designing an interactive fiction game based upon the School for Heroes. (Unfortunately, this secret was already mentioned in the Silmarian Sun, so we’ll have to settle for being the second to announce this amazing event.) Yes, our school will be the center of their new game. I, the Famous Adventurer, will have a prominent role as guide and mentor for the game.
We will be talking more on this subject as it nears its release.
Keep on Adventuring!
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Famous Adventurer Here!
A brand new Ars Heroica magazine, full of edifying articles by the School for Heroes exceptional staff and students, will soon be winging its way to you courtesy the magic of the internet.
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Famous Adventurer Here!
May is a very magical time of year. Therefore, I have officially declared May to be the Month of Magic. Our Wizard School provides the finest in Wizardry Instruction outside of the Wizard Institute of Technocery itself!
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